A Mother’s Pain

Not everyone can bear the pain. Not just the physical pain but emotional pains. We might be able to bear a certain level of pain, but some pain will cause even the strongest person to cry out. Mothers, on the other hand, have mastered the art of keeping a lot of pain on the inside.

Whether she is a single mother or has a partner, mothers are known to keep a lot of pain. Right from the pains that come with labor up to the pains that come with being a mother and wife, mothers have to bear a lot. While some persons can easily scream out their pains, mothers have to keep their pain on the inside. Is it because they are superhumans? We can argue that mothers are superhumans but not when it comes to pain. No one is superhuman, yet our mothers seem to be able to mask their pain perfectly? Why do they do it? To prove that they are strong? To not allow the world to know that they are hurting? No. society (wrongfully) expects a man not to show his emotion but expects a woman to show hers. Mothers can show their pain; in fact, they are expected to. Yet they do not. Mothers keep their pain hidden so that their children will not see them hurting. They have to be strong for the kids. No food in the house? She has to put up a brave, smiling face. No rent, eviction imminent? She has to be brave. Even if her pain is coming from sickness or from being maltreated by her husband, she still puts a brave face. She does this because she is fully aware that her children are watching her. She knows that they take their cue from her. She understands completely how much it can scar a child to be privy to the pains of adulthood. She understands how easy it can be to slip into the place of turning your child into a shrink or sounding board—using the medium of mother and child conversations to unload your pain on the child and scaring that child for life. Mothers know these simple facts, and they understand that a child’s life can be totally altered because of something he or she has heard. The need to protect their children from the extreme and not so extreme realities of life causes the mother to bottle up her pain on the inside. Sharing some of it with her friends who understand and are probably in the situation as her. She might be lucky to have a partner who supports her in every way and with whom she can spare some of her pain with. She might also not be so fortunate and would have to deal with the pain on her own. When your mother is going through pains, and she still puts up a brave face for you, show her your support. She might not show that she is going through pain, so do not wait until she says so. Be supportive of her always.