An expert advises parents to get their baby’s permission before changing their diapers

An Australian “sexuality educator” has sparked a contentious internet discussion by recommending that parents get their baby’s consent before changing their diapers. The online community is intrigued and perplexed by Deanne Carson’s claim that a “culture of consent” must begin at birth.

One netizen inquired as to whether it is also required to obtain “consent from your cat to change its litter tray.” The subject of consent is becoming more prevalent in unexpected contexts, such as diaper changes, in a world where parenting practices are changing more quickly than ever before. Since newborns and infants lack the linguistic ability to respond, it may seem impracticable to ask for permission before changing a dirty diaper.

However, according to Deanne Carson, it’s more important to establish the groundwork for consent and polite boundaries as soon as possible rather than waiting for a formal response. A culture of consent must begin at birth, according to Carson, who identifies herself on Twitter as a “sexuality educator, speaker, and author”.

A mother is seen changing her infant’s diaper. Photo courtesy of Shutterstock She clarifies that the goal is to highlight the child’s autonomy and respect for their body. Parents can teach newborns about personal agency by describing actions, such as “I’m going to change your diaper now, is that okay?” and stopping to observe body language.

The self-described expert contends that the goal of this approach is to promote a two-way communication channel between parent and child rather than to wait for a verbal “yes.”

Carson stated in an interview with Australia’s ABC network that a baby would not say, “Yes, mum, that is awesome, I’d love to have my nappy changed.” “However, you are communicating to that child that their response counts if you leave a space and wait for body language and eye contact.” As part of good communication, pediatricians and early childhood specialists frequently stress the need of reacting to a baby’s non-verbal signs, such as coos, giggles, or gestures.

This is in line with incorporating permission into diaper changes, which involves integrating newborns in the process and making them somewhat aware of what is happening.

Critics contend that children are far too young to comprehend the concept of permission, and not everyone believes that this approach is necessary or viable. Asking a baby’s permission to change their diaper is “lefty lunacy,” according to Rowan Dean, editor of The Spectator Australia. Additionally, Carson is dubbed “the Weird and Even Weirder for the Most Bizarre Idea of All Time” by psychologist, journalist, and parenting expert John Rosemond.

Rosemond writes in the Reno Gazette Journal, “There was a time, not too long ago, when a person who suggested that parents should ask infants for permission to change their diapers would be considered insane by everyone but herself.” “In this contradictory way, Carson’s ‘culture of consent’ turns into a family culture of misunderstanding, distrust, denial, and general dysfunction.”

Many people on social media ridiculed Carson’s ideas and criticized her qualifications after her comments sparked a flurry of online discussions. “I think it’s consent when a baby cries because they are uncomfortable with a full diaper. “I would even go so far as to call it a demand,” one internet user comments.

“A self-proclaimed ‘expert’ advises parents to get consent before changing their child’s diaper,” says a second. She has absolutely no experience with children, based on this. In response to a video posted on X, a third internet user asked: “Does your cat have to give permission before you change its litter tray? No. If it smells, replace it.

A baby is the same. If it wees or poohs, simply replace it! Another adds, “It is legally recognized as child abuse to leave a child in a dirty diaper.” Does this jerk think that children should be abused? Compared to others who advocate against jabs, she is more hazardous.

However, several individuals immediately defended her, claiming that although Carson’s example was flawed, her intentions were excellent. “I’m really shocked at the negative response you got to this,” comments one netizen. Before they can speak, infants [and] toddlers learn how to communicate effectively. I appreciate you putting up with the haters so we could have this conversation.

What harm could there possibly be in demonstrating respect, even if you’re mistaken? Another remarks, “I believe she wants to promote a dialogue on consent among children, but she has made a mockery of it by going too far. Infants are incapable of giving their permission. Never. They are infants! It is considered that they have survival and safety needs.

“I agree with Deanne Carson,” writes another. Talking to your infant is simple. It’s simple to establish a consenting environment at home. Even if the topic isn’t solely about consent, most people feel that it’s beneficial to be aware of and talk to babies.

The decision to “ask” for consent may ultimately depend on personal comfort levels and parenting philosophies. Asking for permission is just one more approach for some parents to develop a loving, respectful relationship with their children; for others, it may be sufficient to merely interact, pay attention, and meet their baby’s needs.

How do you feel with Carson’s suggestion that parents ask their infants for permission to change their diapers? Kindly share this article and let us know what you think so we can hear from others.