Sometimes, people enter into new relationships without being completely over an ex. So, how do you know if your significant other is still not over their ex? Here are some big signs that your partner may still be hung up on their ex:
They Still Keep Photos Of Their Ex
It’s quite obvious your partner is not over their ex if they still keep photos of their ex around. “It might be in their wallet, on their desk, or somewhere more hidden than that, but it’s something they’ll refuse to get rid of because ‘they’re ‘still friends.’ If you’re in this situation, express your feelings about the photo’s presence in a calm but firm way.” Baltimore Therapy Center director, Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C, says.
They won’t enforce or create boundaries with their ex.
It’s important to set boundaries with exes, but if your partner isn’t quite over their ex, it might be difficult for them to do so. “If someone refuses to create boundaries between them and their ex, especially at the request of a new love interest, it could definitely indicate that they aren’t quite over their ex. Despite breaking up, some partners who haven’t moved on will not create new boundaries for fear that it will reduce any residual contact they still have with their ex.” Weena Cullins, LCMFT, a licensed clinical marriage and family therapist and relationship expert says.
They Bring Up Their Ex In Conversations Out Of Nowhere
If your partner is constantly finding ways to bring up their ex in your conversations, they may still be hung up on them. If they tend to get heated or emotional when talking about the ex, this is also a sign that haven’t really let their past relationship go.
They Make Suggestions On How You Should Act Based On How Their Ex Did It
If your partner is still hang up on their ex they might make suggestions to you on how to behave in ways that are very similar to their ex. If your partner is focused on changing you into someone you’re not, it’s definitely something to talk about. They’re not really falling in love with you but the person they want you to become.
They Will Make The Effort To Be In Contact Or Reach Out On Their Ex’s Birthday
If your partner still goes out of his way to do something special for their ex on their birthday or holidays that may be a problem. While a simple ‘Happy Birthday’ text is okay- if that they tell you and you’re OK with it- anything else can be a bit gray and might mean that they are still too connected. The same goes for staying in contact in general.
They Keep In Touch With Their Ex’s Family
If your partner was with their ex for a really long time, they may have developed a close relationship with their ex’s family. It may not be a big deal if your partner keeps in touch with them every now and then, however, it can be a problem if they’re keeping in touch just to stay updated on their ex’s life.
They try to establish traditions with you that they started with their ex.
Forcing old traditions on new relationships can be a sign that your partner isn’t fully over their ex. “If your partner keeps trying to get you to do very specific things and then saying things like, ‘That’s what me and [ex] used to do’ then you need to take pause. Building new memories with your partner is different than recreating memories you used to have with an ex. One is meaningful and organic. The other is sad and full of baggage.” Tara Vossenkemper, MA, LPC, ACS, a therapist and the founder and clinical director of The Counseling Hub says.
They Make Excuses For Why They Don’t Post Pictures Of The Two Of You On Their Social Media
If your significant other never posts pictures of you two on social media even after dating for some time, that may be something to be aware of according to relationship therapist Dr. Alisha Powell, Ph.D., LCSW. Of course, you can’t always rely on social media to give you signs on how your relationship is going but if social media use is important to you, your partner should take that into consideration. “If your partner doesn’t understand your concerns or blows you off, then you need to realize that [they] may not truly be serious about pursuing something long-term with you.” Powell says.
They Will Avoid Talking About Their Ex If You Bring Them Up
If you bring up your partner’s ex and they snap at you, they may still be hurting over how things ended. This doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner wants to get back with them. “This is a sign that it hurts too much to talk about and they probably still have deep feelings for the other person.” breakup coach Lee Wilson, says.