I’m finding my soul

Do you have any idea of what I have been through? The nights I have cried myself to sleep because even if I try to sleep, those nightmares keep coming, or should I talk about the panic attacks.

I thought life will always be rosy and sweet. I grew up having everything at my beck and call, never wishing for those moments to end.

I was the best-dressed kid, and the richest in the neighborhood, not like many are surprised; I am the only child of a single dad who is a billionaire.

Life has been all rosy and dreamy until a beeping sound from the door awakened me. I thought dad was back from his trips, and the house helps should take care of opening the door for him.

I was waiting for him to come to my room and plant kisses on my face like he always does until I started hearing people talking indistinctly. I laid still thinking he came home with visitors and will soon meet me.

The door opened to the house help crying. She hugged me still crying, I ran downstairs to know what’s wrong and saw men on uniform leaving the house.

They told me my dad was gone; he died in a car crash. I opened my eyes with my head pounding me; I was gone for days like I was told.

My whole world crumbled before me. I felt lonely and lost, and I knew my dad was gone forever. I became a shadow of myself; many people who don’t know my story called me a snub and a spoilt brat who never wants to associate with others.

Do you have any idea what it feels like losing your only parent? I am somewhere between losing my mind and finding my soul. I am lost.