Letter to My Mother in Heaven

Dear Mama, It took me a while to do this, not because I didn’t have the words, but because I didn’t think I will stop writing when I started. Mama, I miss you. I know you are in heaven. I like to think you are handling the children’s choir in heaven, spreading love and joy as you did here on earthIt is hard to think that I can no longer call you for advice. Even though I know you are always with me, it is not the same as hearing your voice over the phone. I kept your phone bill running for months after you were gone. I wanted to be able to hear your voicemail message. It made me feel like you were still here on earth. I finally got around to sorting out your stuff. I distributed them as you instructed. It was a gut-wrenching yet soothing experience. Every piece of property had a memory tied to it. I kept the crystal horse. It is sitting on my fireplace mantel just as it was in your house. It catches the sunlight just at the right time. At such moments, Mama, I can almost see you, walking out of my kitchen carrying a plate of something you have whipped up from my meager food supply. Mama, I know I didn’t say this often, but I love you so much. I wish I had said it often while you were here. Even when we had our fights, I always had the confidence of knowing you were there. I knew you’d always come when I call. Thank you, Mama, for all the love, the sacrifice, and the care you gave to me.Thank you for seeing me through heartbreaks and relationships. Thank you for being my best cheerleader and my consoler. Thank you for encouraging me to discover my dream and pursue it. Thank you for all the times you stood up for me. Thank you for helping me grow. You were always so confident in me that it made me feel like I could do anything. Thank you for being my number one fan. Mama, I miss you, dearly. I miss the smell of your Sunday cookies. I miss your chicken casserole and your famous lasagna. I miss your iced lemon tea in the summer and your apple pie. Thanksgiving will not be the same without you. I miss your smell and your favorite Chanel No⁵ perfume. Every time I smell it, I am reminded of you.I miss how you change my sheets whenever you are in my house and then spray them. I miss how you click your tongue and shake your head whenever I play loud rock music.I miss you, Mama. Earth lost an Angel, but heaven gained one. Every day, I am reminded to live a life that will make you proud. I know you are smiling down at me, and I feel you watching me. I love you so much, Mama, and I miss you so much it hurts. I am glad you are in heaven With lots of loveYour Child.

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