To Love or Not

What is Love?

Love is a word that is often thrown around loosely like a catch all phrase to express our likes and dislikes. Love, however, is one of the deepest emotions a person can feel. Hate and love are often said to be separated only by a thin line due to the deep emotions that both can invoke. Once this level of emotion is reached it can be easy to slip from one to the other, for example, the scorned wife. Does she love, does she hate or is it both? 

Who Deserves Love

Though we’d like to think that everyone deserves love and to be loved, that doesn’t mean that everyone deserves to be loved by you. Love makes our hearts happy and brings with it a certain hope for the future, but love can change quickly without any warning. What starts out as a loving, kind relationship can evolve into a monster that we never expected to show up.  Abusive relationships often start out to be the best love one has ever felt. Abuse may start out slowly and be a complete surprise to the victim. When this happens, what becomes of the love? 


Caught in the Spider Web

So, you have found love, are making happy memories, and plans for your future. Up ahead there is a fork in the road and it will be really hard to decide which path to take. Your partner has changed, it was slow, and yet something in your heart feels hurt and disappointed. All of these happy times are still fresh and keep the feeling of love alive, but there are bad times that start to confuse the mind. That thin line between hate and love starts to show up more often as tensions in the relationship rise. This position is uncomfortable to be in and doesn’t at all resemble the love that was felt at the beginning of the relationship, but we still love. We are caught between hope and hurt. Hoping for love to come back and hurt thinking the bad times are getting worse.


People Change

People change and there’s nothing you can do about it. When changes occur in your life it affects emotions, especially if it is the other person changing. Hanging on for dear life to the love we once felt is an initial response that is common. Does this person still deserve to be loved the same by you though? When the relationship gets out of balance, one is doing the loving, one is doing the changing, it can become hard to hang on to. Balance in any relationship is key to its success. Give and take has to go both ways or stress cracks will begin to show. When you become sick of the hurt and disappointments you will begin to take a closer look at who is inflicting the pain. 


Getting Out

When your emotions start to become more neutral, your mind will have time to take a closer look at what is happening. Love is blind is a common phrase because so many people have been in this position. Being lulled into a sense of security with love will make a person crave more of that love. Even when things start to happen that you don’t like, it will be hard to give up that beautifully intense feeling of love that was felt in the beginning.  You will not always get what you give to another person. It takes a strong person with clear eyes to see through the memories and look at what is currently happening. The prospects of leaving the relationship is painful and yet the hope is starting to fade. This is the fork in the road and you must choose your path.


Who Deserves Your Love

When the love was new there was a balance of emotions. You felt loved and gave love. The desire to please was mutual, and happiness was everywhere. It doesn’t really matter what happened within the bounds of this relationship, once one person starts to treat the other poorly and without love, decisions will be made. To be happy in life we must not only give our love, we need to receive it. A lopsided relationship will cause pain and unhappiness. If you are giving your best, you deserve the best back. When your love isn’t being reciprocated, you’re not getting what you deserve. 


Handing out Love

You are a loving soul and you should be treated as such. Not everyone deserves your love. Not everyone deserves to be in a relationship with you. This is true for romance, friendship, family and other acquaintances. It doesn’t mean you need to hate anyone, it means that love is special and should be reserved for the very best people in your life.

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2 thoughts on “To Love or Not

  • Crystal Kramer

    So so very true I’m holding in to what was and living it dragging. Myself through what is now! I love this article, so true and I really needed it. As they say it’s time to shit or get off the pot! Thank you


  • Martha scott

    Wow , that’s right on the money.


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