It’s okay, it happens to everyone, and you will live through this. If these seemingly consoling words are beginning to sound like a broken record, it is perhaps because you are starting to realize that these sympathizers are not telling you the truth. Losing a parent can be one of the hardest things in life, especially when you are yet to figure your life out. On today’s edition of Things People Do Not Tell You, we want to let you know the things people do not tell you when you have to say an early goodbye to your loving dad.
From the moment you first entered this world and inhaled its air, your parents started nurturing and showing you the right path to follow. They teach life and how best to overcome most of the challenges you face. So when you find yourself without one—or even two—of them, there is every chance that your young self will feel very lost. One of the hardest times could be when you really need to talk to your father for some advice. When life was tough, it was his words that helped make everything easier. When you needed support, it was his presence that made everything less stressful. But when he leaves, everyone tells you it is for the best and that there isn’t really anything that will change. But that is just to console you. The hole will be there and it will gape for a very long time, at least until when you are old and mature enough to fill it up yourself.
You Will Never Stop Missing Him
Whether or not you never really knew your father, the fact that he is no longer there will leave a mark that nothing can actually erase. When your Dad leaves this world, he is never coming back. That is something that will take years to come to terms with. You will never stop missing him. Chances are you will think about him everyday and wish you will have another chance to have a conversation with him. Yes, they will tell you that you will miss him if you tell yourself you do not have to. But that is a rather vast oversimplification. These people who come to sympathize with you will forget that you are grieving after about three months, but that is normal. It is you who will carry on the pain and the loss until life or yourself finally permits you to forget about the hurt. You will miss him so dearly because there is really nothing like a father in one’s young life.
You are not the reason he no longer is around. But that does not mean you will not feel guilty. This is not about the death per se, but more about thinking of how you could have done things differently to make good of the time you both had before he left. It is much more complicated if you were the last person to see him alive. You just feel as though you could have been a better son or daughter to make him feel proud anywhere he is. You might go back to mentally punish yourself for all the times you were not the perfect child or when you were mean to him. Hanging up the phone on him, not checking up on him, not wanting him to come see you at school and being stubborn when he tries to put you in the right way will all come back to make you feel guilty, Nevertheless, all you can do is learn from your mistakes and show him you can be better.