You were immediately attracted to him and you could tell he liked you too. The relationship begins and is going well and as your feelings start to deepen you have dreams of the perfect life, wedding, children, happily ever after. Is he the one? He doesn’t talk about marriage or love. How can you tell if this is it or not? Here are 5 signs that you may be more mature and ready for a relationship than he is.
Commitment in a relationship is a huge sign of where you may end up. A man that is committed will tell you so. A man that isn’t will also tell you. Pay attention to what is being said and done. If he is having a problem talking about love and a future with you, you might want to step back. There is a chance that he thinks this relationship is for fun and the future is still open to new possibilities. If you aren’t at the same level of commitment, you need to have a heart to heart talk about what both of you are expecting. If you’re in deeper than he is, consider walking away.
A mature man will want to settle differences in a manner that will resolve the conflict. An immature man will storm off in a huff, not talk to you, not answer your calls. He does not have an interest in resolution. He is showing you that questioning anything he does simply makes him mad. This level of immaturity will eventually ruin your relationship. You will try to avoid making him mad and walking on eggshells is not sustainable. Conflict will bring out the worst and the best in a person. If his reaction is to throw a fit, he lacks maturity and will not make you a good partner.
Give & Take
Are you giving and he’s taking? The give and take in a relationship encompasses so many areas. The chores, affection, gifts, kind words are all things we give someone we love. If you are always initiating the loving, giving parts of the relationship, there’s a red flag waving in your face. If you are feeling like he’d rather spend time with his friends after you have arranged for free time to spend with him, he’s not giving back what you have given. This out of balance relationship will eventually take its toll on you.
Partners in a relationship will need to compromise at times of disagreements. When you have boundaries that you are set firm on, they need to be respected. An emotionally mature partner will want to bring harmony to the relationship and be willing to bend on things that are important. A partner that disrespects your boundaries and is dismissive when you try to discuss it will cause you nothing but hurt and frustration. Compromise is a key area of maturity in a partner, the lack of it shows the exact opposite.
He’s never wrong or responsible for anything that has gone wrong. The eternal victim is no more than an immature person who will not take any blame for anything. A lesson in frustration is an understatement when you are dealing with a person like this. Everyone has moments that they regret, times they lost their temper, except for the eternal victim. They’re going to blame it all on you every time. Immaturity is at a level so high that I’m not sure that it can be defeated no matter what the stakes are.
If you have these signs of immaturity in your relationship, take a closer look at what you are giving up just to be at peace. A relationship that will withstand the test of time has partners that are mature, who want harmony and will work at solving problems as they arise. Better times can be had with the right partner, this one might just not be ready for a mature, long lasting relationship. Let him go.