Each relationship is unique and there is no cake recipe for having “happily ever after”, but lasting relationships have many things in common. We separated the top 5 signs from 2 surveys of happy couples.
Similar Morals and Principles
The phrase “opposites attract” makes sense when we talk about temperament and personality, but never about principles. In happy couples, priorities and the notion of right and wrong are compatible. Bottom line: You may have different opinions and ways, one being outgoing and the other shy for example, but morale needs to match. It is logical, it must be very exhausting and toxic to live with a person who, in his eyes, has a doubtful character or does not match his essence.
Admiration for each other
Mutual admiration is also a quality in longstanding relationships. In addition to making them feel important, it helps to maintain a healthy relationship, with one valuing each other’s company. This was a discovery by Gillian Pierce, co-founder of GGP (Global Glue Project), dedicated to discovering the secrets of lasting relationships in different parts of the world. So for your relationship to be strong, it is very important to see your love as worthwhile and vice versa. Especially because spending the days with a person who doesn’t inspire any admiration, someone you can’t appreciate is very annoying.
Mark Manson is editor of the Quartz Media Blog, and just before getting married, he had an idea: How about asking people who follow your blog, with 10 years of a solid, happy marriage, tips for maintaining a lasting union? The result was over 1,500 people participating with tons of paragraphs on the subject.
As Mark examined the hundreds of responses he received, he began to notice an interesting trend.
Divorced people or people with 10 to 15 years of relationship almost always said that communication is the most important part of everything to work well.
But Mark noticed something surprising. In the testimony of married people 20, 30 or 40 years old, the predominant word is “respect”.
These experienced people have learned that communication between the couple, no matter how good, will fail one hour. Without a relationship based on respect, the couple will doubt each other’s intentions. Choices will always be judged and one’s independence will be invaded. You will feel the need to hide things for fear of criticism. And that’s where the cracks start to appear.
OPENING TO TALK ABOUT ALL, ESPECIALLY THE HARDEST THINGS
This is another research point from Mark:
If something bothers you in the relationship, you have to talk. This builds trust and intimacy. It may hurt, but you still have to. No one else will fix your relationship for you.
Just as causing pain to muscles allows them to grow and grow stronger, introducing some pain into your relationship in what is vulnerable is the only way to make it stronger.
A strong friendship
Do you feel comfortable in the presence of your love, both have fun together and are also confident? So this relationship has many chances to go far.
Life for two goes far beyond sexual attraction and social commitments, it needs to be enjoyable. A loving relationship without a strong friendship turns out to be problematic, your partner becomes an uncomfortable commitment. That’s why it’s important to go beyond the futile motives (looks, money, convenience, etc.) and only join your life with who you feel good about!
Does your relationship fit most signals? So congratulations, be sure to value your partner.