Love is the key component for any relationship, however, love alone cannot sustain a relationship. According to psychotherapist and relationship coach, Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC, there are 3 elements to relationship chemistry, physical attraction, friendship, and intellectual stimulation.
“For a partner to be enough, you need to have some measure of each,” Coleman says. “It’s not necessary to have the same amount of all of these elements. But if one part is missing, it will feel like ‘something’ is missing, and you will find yourself wishing you could relate to [your partner] like you did with [an ex], or couple you know.” She adds.
Here are some signs that show your partner might not be enough for you, even if you love them:
You’re The Only One Putting In Any Effort
If you are the only one in the relationship putting in all the effort without getting any reciprocation then it might be time to consider having a talk about it or walking out. You shouldn’t be the only one initiating check-in texts or calls or planning date nights. Relationships need effort from both partners if they are to work
They Refuse To Mature
It’s normal and even healthy for you and your partner to spend time with other people like family and friends. But if your partner is consistently letting you down or not spending quality time with you just so they can be with others, this can be problematic. It’s important to nurture your relationship and make it a priority. If your partner makes you feel like other people are more important than you, they may not be enough for you.
You Have Different Major Life Goals
If you feel like you and your have differing life goals for instance you disagree on whether to get married or have kids, you disagree on where to live,or have different goals financially, these may be signs that your relationship may not be fulfilling for you. Unless you are both willing to compromise on some of the decisions, this may just be a big red flag.
They Don’t Challenge You
After a while dating, most couples reach a point of stability where the relationship is comfort. This can make the relationship feel stagnant and maybe even boring. It’s like once you’re committed to each other, there’s no major next step to look forward to. However, when you’re with someone who challenges you in different ways, there’s opportunity for constant growth. You need someone who mentally stimulates you and who you don’t get bored talking to. Physically, you also need to be challenged by a partner who you’re excited to be with intimately, and who you don’t just fall into a routine with.
There’s Doubt That Never Seems To Go Away
If you have any sort of nagging doubt about your partner, that’s a sign they might not be enough for you. It may be that you are not sure you can trust them fully, you doubt their morals and values, you doubt if you have the same intentions and goals and any other reason that might be troubling you.
The Timing Is Just Off
If you’re with someone and they aren’t ready to move to the next stage in your relationship, they may not be enough for you, at least not in the present time. For instance, if you’re dating someone in medical school, with all the years of training ahead, they won’t likely be ready to settle down for a while. You may be in love but if your timeline is different it may be time to part ways.