Having friends is a good thing, but sometimes things do not turn out the way we expect. In a life where people are only viewed as means to an end for the pervasive and productive economic machine, it is very important to know who your true friends are. And in the same life, not everyone will take your friendship for what it is, as some people will repeatedly show that they do not really value you.
Real Friends Challenge You
Rather than sitting around waiting for the next big party or wanting to network with your other friends, the best friends motivate and inspire you to continue growing as a person and professional.
These people do not fail to call you our, point out where your values are shaking and expect the same level of concern and respect from you. With such reciprocity, good friends grow together, no matter the other factors that might affect the relationship. These items comprise a secure and mature relationship.
Fake Friends Manipulate
When people do not value the friendship you have with them, they are likely to milk you for what you’ve got. Fundamentally, manipulation is managing the emotions of others, but in a bad, selfish way.
It entails sulking to get someone to feel bad or being especially nice to butter them up. Most times, it is hard to notice when it is happening. That is because the target of the situation is likely the proverbial frog in the slowly boiling water. It is only after it’s steamed that the realization sets in.
Gossiping About You?
Dishing on the contestants on The Bachelor is one thing, but talking dirt about your friends in real life can be hurtful and cruel. Most people feel it is something little that can be done and gotten away with. But the truth is that it sticks like a bug and grows like the African Killifish.
If you have friends who cannot come up front and tell you where you are messing up but can’t go back stairs and set up speakers to blare your flaws, you are in big trouble. One reason they do this is that they do not value your friendship.
Convenience And Inconvenience
Yes, everyone’s busy. But even when the schedule is all booked like seats in the last plane out of a roasting country, real friends find ways to fit in coffee runs. Constantly breaking plans or showing up late to every hangout is a signal that some friend does not value you.
I mean, it’s not like you are the jobless one who makes out all the time in the world, only to be stood up or tossed into the outbox. People who do not value your relationship with them will not want to make these sacrifices, and this is something you should notice early.
Well, everyone agrees that life is too short. As such, it is important to let go of grudges as quickly as they come. It is also important to gulp your pride down and offer a sincere apology. But if you find yourself in a friendship where this hardly happens, you might want to reevaluate.